Monday, October 02, 2006

angst and clean laundry

I've been shamefully unproductive this weekend. I'm still not done grading exams, and I haven't done my reading for class tomorrow night. Although I'm no longer sick, I am rather tired still, and I had quite a bit to drink last night while hanging out with the Scientist. I haven't seen him since we stopped dating in, gosh, I think it was March or April, I can't remember. It was nice to catch up with him and see how he's doing. He got his heart broken recently, and I tried to cheer him up by telling him how I got groped and yelled at rickshaw drivers in India, but I'm not sure if it worked.

My dear S is also having some romantic angst, which sucks when you have to go to work and bill twelve hours a day. I've been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is to get hurt in dating/romantic situations, even fairly embryonic or loosely-defined ones. It's too easy to be careless with other people's feelings, and I've been noticing recently how much past damage echoes through into present situations, even years later (no, these are not stunning revelations, they're just things that have been made more prominent to me lately). I'm having a bit of my own romantic angst and confusion, but it's not blog-ready yet (and it's been preoccupying me lately, which is part of why I haven't posted all week).

But all is not woe. I did finally do my laundry and sweep/mop my kitchen floor on Thursday, which were long-overdue chores. And I do love it when all my favorite things to wear are clean. Oh, and we were given an merciful respite from Econometrics on Wednesday when Dr. J cancelled class (although I think his baby daughter may have been sick, so I regret the circumstances and I hope very much that she is doing better now). Anyway, there we were at about 3 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon, slogging through the last parts of the problem set and trying to study for the quiz, and suddenly a chorus of angels appears in the econ computer lab: "No class! No problem set or quiz to turn in until next week! Go home and take a nap!"

I know, I know, my life is so easy. I recognize that it is, and I'm deeply grateful, but it doesn't really seem easy. I suppose no one's does.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel.

Anonymous said...

it's way too easy to fall into the angst. having tasks to accomplish helps greatly (or too much work, like S). i recommend painting. when i'm too anxiety-ridden to do anthing besides obsess, painting a room seems to do wonders to soothe my mind and stomach. a good, long bike ride or run helps too...it's like it's physically impossible to experience an anxiety attack in its fullest while doing one of those things. at least for me. i hope everyone's angst gets better soon. :)
-mj

jenn said...

b and mj- you both make good points. having unstructured time can be a bitch when you're angsty about something. my time, as you know, is largely unstructured, and i feel much more out-of-sorts and uproductive a lot of the time as a result. and i also agree that throwing oneself into an activity like bike riding or household chores is very helpful. i felt great the other day when i did laundry and cleaned my apartment. and walking to school rather than taking the bus usually does well to clear my head and put me in a better mood when i get there.

oh, and b, maybe you could use some of that unstructured time emailing me back! =P

Anonymous said...

ummm... J - you can use some of your unstructured time calling your wife :P

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