After several days without progress, I did quite a bit of apartment unpacking and setting up last night. The books are all on their shelves now (I'm missing a bunch, and I know some of them are in Bakersfield, but it seems to me that there's at least one whole box of them that should be around here somewhere but doesn't seem to be, which is troubling). My new microwave, which is shiny and red, had been sitting on the floor in the livingroom/bedroom because I lacked the proper extension cord and outlet adapter needed to put it in the kitchen. Having a microwave in the livingroom was fun, but ultimately also annoying, and it's now been moved to its permanent home on top of the refridgerator (I have no counter space, so I have to be creative, and luckily the fridge is kind of short). Note to Rebel: between the microwave and the TV, I officially no longer live like a pioneer. =(
I've also started to put up pictures and knick-knacks, which is perhaps the true indication that this is my new home. Dad's ashes are on the mantle, which is a tad cliched, I guess, but I'm just so excited to have a mantle that I can't help it. Speaking of the mantle, the fireplace has been great. I burn Duraflame logs (or the Pine Mountain brand or the Safeway brand), so there's no effort involved, and it's like instant atmosphere. DWE seemed to like it when he came over on Wednesday and Thursday.
Speaking of which, I'm contemplating the possibility that I'm kind of a lousy girlfriend. Maybe not lousy, but at least sort of unreasonable. He and I talked semi-briefly on the phone a couple of times yesterday, and the last time we talked I told him I'd call him that night. So I did, but he didn't answer. When it got to be 10:45, I called again, and left a message saying that he should call if he hadn't already gone to sleep, and if he had gone to sleep he should have called first. At about midnight I got a text from him saying that he'd fallen asleep on the couch and that he was going to bed, but that we'd talk tomorrow (i.e. today). So I tried calling him back, but of course he'd turned his phone off already. So instead I texted him and said that I appreciated that he sent the text, but that I didn't understand why he didn't call, and it hurts my feelings when he avoids me like that.
In retrospect, I may have been overreacting (and I left him a message to that effect this morning). But really, I don't like it when I've asked him to call and he texts instead. Essentially what he's saying is, "I want you to know that I didn't fall off the face of the earth, but I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to talk to you long enough to say that I'm too tired to talk." And despite my concilatory voicemail, he hasn't called me back this morning, which is also very irritating to me. Am I just incredibly unreasonably needy? Calling is so little effort, and it obviously makes me very happy, so why can't he do it?
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6 comments:
You need to get your internet access set up! You need lightening fast high speed internet so you can upload some pictures of your new place.
Sorry I didn't call you back last night. Now I feel bad. =( I was just pooped when I got home, and I thought I'd call you before I went to bed... and promptly forgot.
I don't think you're being entirely unreasonable re: DWE because he travels so dang much, so it's not like you see him 5 times a week & still want him to call you every day. You want him to call you every day because you only get to see him once or twice every few weeks.
I could see him not wanting to call you if you didn't let him say "I'm tired and I don't feel like talking" but just kept him on the phone for an hour after he tried to say good bye. But I don't think you usually do that.
Glad to hear about the progress at your new place. I look forward to seeing it...don't know when. That is so cool that you have a fireplace!!! J and I have wood, but no place to burn it...
And I agree with rebel; you are not being unreasonable. Sounds like a difference in communication preferences. I can understand totally wanting the voice to voice communcation versus scrolling words. Is he usually a phone talker? I think, if you haven't already or in the past, explain why it hurts your feelings when he does that. He should be able to see your point of view and adapt. (sounds like he usually does) Unfortunatly, you can't change people completly, as I am relearning myself.
From the description of your apartment, you will have many nights soon to cuddle by the fire and bond in person.
i love that you have a fireplace! it's definitely getting to be fireplace weather, here at least.
i don't think you're being unreasonable at all! and i don't think he is being so, for now. i might decide he is if you explain to him again that this is something you need from the relationship and he completely disregards it, but i doubt that will happen.
I do have to agree that the text message instead of a call is a bit annoying, but I also have to disagree with everyone else and say you are over-reacting a tad...
You know that I'm often on your side on these issues (and always on your side in life), but I'm with T and you're overreacting a bit. Even little things I know can make others happy (like emails or calls) can seem monumental when you're tired/stressed/cranky, etc. I'm with everyone else, too, in that you should just discuss it with him!
I'm in with T and gorgeous, here. There's all sorts of good stuff you keep mentioning about this guy, and he's obviously terrifically devoted to you. Overlook a few trangressions.
(Oh, yeah, then totally note those trangsressions in great detail, and bring them up use them later to your advantage. Perhaps a future argument, maybe you need flowers for the apartment, or if you need help moving. He'll have no defense whatsoever.)
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